Things I think I think: January 5, 2010

1. The United States needs to have a crash Bioengineering program modeled after the Manhattan Project, just so we can give the President the ability to hold a news conference and announce...."Release the Kraken!"  See the Jihadies mess with that! Zeus > Mohammad.

2. Who wins in a game of hide and go seek? Carmen Sandiego or Waldo?

3. After seeing Avatar, I think God has been lacking in the imagination/beauty department. The government needs to spend some of that stimulus money(Obama's Stash) to bio engineer my grass to glow in the dark...hell they bioed pigs to glow in the dark!

4. Ok, we have American Idol, contestants which SING covers. Then some other show that have groups sing...covers. Then we have dance shows(throw a dart at a style). Where are the shows that feature instrument talent? Did I miss the fact that Gutar Hero/Rock Band are two of the most popular games in history? Put some actual musicians on stage to show what they can do!..let them do some orginal stuff. The other shows cut out the entire male demographic. Makes too much sence I know.

5. Do you think Goofy hates his parents for cursing him with that name?

Smurfs get Sexy and Deadly...unfortunately Handy Smurf not available

Ok, like many of you know...I'm a bit right of center. So that's the news I generally read(I balance at least a 1/3..sad isn't it...like a safety factor)....anyway, so I was really not going to see Avatar because of the green message all the conservatives were howling about. But my sister wanted to go see when she was in town, so we went...so glad we did. Don't get me wrong, you will see everything coming in this movie...we have all seen it before a 100 times. At one point I thought I could sic up Last of the Mohican's with one of the scenes voice track. But for the first time in a decade...I wanted to go back and see it again right away...just plan beautiful.

Things I noticed:

1.  It takes about 10 minutes to get used to the 3d. It's just a matter of learning were to focus...everything is very subtle. Not the old school "hey let's throw a rock out of the screen" 3D. By the last 2/3 your just totally immersed.


2.  Why do all the animals on Pandora have 6 limbs, 4 eyes and 2 of those faux USB devices coming out of their heads except the smurfs?...gotcha...we need to identify with the smurfs...still.

3.  The story would have been SO much better had they followed the story they have posted online(background). In the movie a dirty corp just wants the "gold"...if you read the back story, and they even hint at it in the movie, Earth is dieing...and the mineral is helping to save the population of Earth. Wouldn't that have made a more powerful story if everyone could see a compelling reason for both parties motivations? Course it wouldn't play as well overseas where it is doing gang busters...anti American = money. Except when you need us to protect you!

4.  I loved the bad guy...on a scale of black and white...he was total black, but he was the definition of never second guessing himself, always did what needed to be done...honestly couldn't second guess a single move he made.

5.  Let me know if anyone else thinks it's creepy that all the "elders" of the tribe look exactly like the youngsters. I want some wrinkles...flab...scars!

6.  Speaking of scars...I walk in the woods at night with the dogs just because it freaks me out a bit...I come out with scratches everywhere...Avatar? Like I'm watching a Dove soap commercial.

7.  Only line that really turned me off was when the Marine Colonel said that Jake betrayed his RACE...hello...it should be Species...but seeing as how all the natives are played by minorities(wonderfully), and 99% of the soldiers are white, it can come off bad. I'm just too deep in politics...no that is just too blatant even for hollywood, did it on purpose.

8.  Course the engineer in me just wanted to know why they didn't have something in orbit to just take care of all this trouble.

9.  All in all, the story is old, but it had to be. Cameron wasn't going to get 500mil from the studios to develop the CGI tech to do a risky story.

Update:  If you were a super stealthy huntress, would you wear all those beads in your dreads?  Clink against each other and make all sorts of noise.

The British: Rock Bands Yes...Healthcare Advice...No

Next time I here someone spout poetic about the virtues of the Brtish NHS(National Healthcare System), I'm just going to breakout the "Big Book of British Smiles"

Game...Set...Match.  What happens when there are years long waits to see a dentist.

Vote Toad in 2012!

Things I think I think: January 2, 2010

1. Maybe Pandas don't procreate because they think of each other as too "Cute".

2. Do you ever think Santa will look at the cookies left out for him and just snap yelling "I don't want any damn cookies....I want a Pony!"

3. Christmas shopping is alot more fun when you have little kids to buy for.

4. For someone who just got done leacturing us all about the evils of global warming...you would think the president would have found a place a little colder and a little closer than Hawaii to spend his Christmas vacation.

5. I'm convinced the world started going down hill with the invention of the microwave....once you could get a hot meal in 30 seconds...attention spans and concentration went out the window.

Greek Gods are Passive Agressive

Initially when I read that they were remaking Clash of the Titans I immediately proceeded to face palm in disgust.  Then I saw this trailer.  It's like every rock album cover from the 80's had sex with each other and gave birth to this trailer.  I bet if I watched this trailer with the music off...ehh...no intrest...but I didn't.



So what did we learn from this trailer?

1.  Apparently the monster from Cloverfield is finally getting new scripts...but is still type cast as a big monster from the sea.

2.  Rappers need to be quaking in their boots(but not too hard, not much holding up those pants).  When was the last time you heard a trailer with rap music in it?  Rock is coming back!

3.  They completely need to make this into a live "play".  Toss the orchestra out of their pit...stock it with a heavy metal band...surround the pit with a chain link fence for protection, and then serve cheap beer.

4.  I could make a mint if I had a time machine...screw killing Hitler...I would be back selling Levies to Greek and Scottish warriors.  Kilts are so last millennium.

5.  In that armor...Liam Neason is so much more sparkly than Robart Paterson from Twilight(I have no Idea what that means...but I always here sparkly and twilight together)

Whole Wheat Breads Evil Brother

Ever since the family lived in Iceland we have all had a box of Walkers Shortbread dropped in our stocking for Christmas..it is so good, but I'm thankful it's become only a yearly treat. I'm convinced that the reason Santa is fat and Jolie can be directly traced back to a bunch of fat cats laughing with glee at Walkers corporate headquarters.

Yeah it tries to play itself off as a "Bread"...because breads healthy right? Then it tries to disguise itself further as little pie pieces, cookies, or bars...all of which are probably better for you than what it actually is. I don't know if there is any actual bread in it...it might just be a couple sticks of butter powderized in some unholy process and then compressed into a benign shape. I think I was foolish enough to look at the ingredients label one time to see just how bad it was for me...I just blacked out and when I came through I was just sitting fully clothed in a running shower rocked back and forth sobbing.

So, Walkers shortbread, great once a year. Otherwise treat it as some shady character in a bad neighborhood as you pass buy it at the supermarket...don't make eye contact, just keep moving.