I Wouldn't get in that water Either.

I know Engineers who don't have this much problem solving ability.

Things I think I think: January 10, 2010

1. Read recently that scientist are hypothising that there are millions of pounds of fish on Europa...first thing that pops into my mind is Japan going on a crash space program and shooting a bunch of "Bonzai!" screaming sushi chefs(wearing only loincloths) into space. They need something new and strange to eat.

2. "Shark Fin Soup" aren't sharks just a bunch of moving cartlage? Isn't that like Americans just tossing chicken cartledge into a soup and KFC charging 20 bucks a bowl?

3. So how long until Lindsey Lohans spirit is haunting some hollywood hotel room?...I just know that room is going to be plagued by unexplained episodes of the minibar being emptied, and unauthorized phone charges followed by random dealers knocking on the door in the middle of the night.

4. Do you think Dr. McCoy is always saying "Damnit I'm a doctor not an XXXX" just to rub it into everyone else that he's a doctor? I mean he's always on the bridge instead of his office doing his job. Probably looking for a pat on the back. Meanwhile Scotty the engineer keeps his ass down in the engine room saving everyone's ass.

5. China wants us to subsidize them to reduce their CO2 emissions. Fine, I want them to subsidize me because I had some chinese food for dinner and I'm hungry an hour later.

E.T made me do it!

Why hasn't anyone pulled the E.T defense in a DUI trial? Come on, an "I'm psychically connected to my drunk pet alien" defense couldn't possible fail!

Aside:  I would kill for a photoshop of E.T in a wifebeater as he chugges down that Coors.  Maybe a faux Cops webisode.  Comeon SNL you should be thinking of this shite!

Aside II:  What kind of message does this send kids?  Elliot gets drunk, gets the girl, becomes the hero of the school.  Way to go Spielberg!

(h/t to the Chewbacca Defense)

New Age Retirement Plan

After looking at my latest 401(k) and Roth statements...started thinking about alternative retirement scenarios. Frankly if your 70ish and your family is thinking of putting you in a home. Rob a fricken bank...what's the worst that can happen? A) you get away with bunch of cash and live happily ever after. B) you get arrested.

So you get arrested. Ok, deny a lawyer...plead guilty. You get 3 hots and a cot...alot more interesting roommates than if you were in a retirement home...free health care...you are not using up your retirement savings, so you can pass it along to your kids or use it to buy favors inside...and your kids can visit you just as well(and infrequently) in prison as a retirement home.

Seems alot more fun than just rotting in a retirement home burning up cash!

Head -> Wall

I started this blog for the new year so that I could pass on things to my brother overseas, and also my idea list for my email musings had gotten up to 1500 and growing because I was going the whole "profectionist" route, and frankly allot were out of time so to speak by the time I got around to sending them out. So I decided to take my friend Kara's advice and start blogging....just get it out. Less than 6 days into the blogosphere....got 75 "drafts" in my posting queue, tons of time to jot done a few ideas...but can't seem to word or find the pics/video I want! Learning experience

...And our next career day speaker is...

Like the title says, I would pay this women to visit little kids just to mess them up, hell this is going into the memory warehouse for when my kids have career day.  Come as a respected engineer, or a muppet slayer?...like that is a choice! 

Ahh the Math Skills of Journalism Majors.

Does anyone else roll their eyes to the heavens and mutter god help us when they see a reporter/reporterette, who look like they are straight from the pages of a Barbie catalogue, say with enthusiasm that HOORAY! the unemployment rate dropped .2% this month! Then they tell us that the country only lost 300k jobs this month instead of the 400k last month...it's an economic REBOUND! Do you think it even flashes through their minds for a second how the country can lose all those jobs and the unemployment rate drop?...yeah me neither, facts have a hard time burrowing through that much pancake make-up. Stop the government "accounting magic" with the jobs numbers and tell the truth.


Definitely a "Glass half empty" day for me